So a couple of weeks ago I posed the question asking when (or if) you showered. The response was absolutely stellar with over 130 responses. So huge thanks for that.

Here are the results:
54% of you shower in the morning
24% of you shower in both the morning and evening
22% of you shower only in the evening

Now for my answer.

I shower twice a day. I shower at night immediately before I go to bed and in the morning soon after I wake up. Why? It ultimately goes back to getting a good nights rest.

I didn’t start showering in the evening until I wrote the first post about this, but I’ve been doing it since then and can’t believe I hadn’t started sooner.

It perviously took me 30 minutes to an hour to go to sleep every single night for as long as I can remember. Since showering at night, I’m out of it within a matter of minutes.

Like others who shower at night, I find it helps totally relax me. I turn the water on as hot as I can bear it and just stand there for about 10 minutes. I’ll then do a fairly quick bathe and from there go directly to bed. It usually helps to get your hair as dry as you can with a towel, but a little dampness will help you feel refreshed when you lie down.

So my suggestion? Shower at night right before you go to bed and shower again when you wake up. Try if for atleast one week. If you don’t get to sleep faster and sleep better…you can kick me in the shins.

A little bit of background to bring you up to speed on where I’m at in life. Back in July I graduated from college. The same month I married the woman of my dreams. That same month as well we moved across the country from Mississippi to Colorado. We both were extremely fortunate to have parents who went above and beyond to make sure we were provided for which ultimately meant we started our new life together without a dime of debt…college, cars, etc were all paid for. And to clarify that, they didn’t serve us everything on a silver platter. We both have held jobs everyday of our life since we were 16 and paid for all of our possessions. They just worked hard to help pay for a quality education and essentials like transportation….something we plan on doing our best to offer our kids as well.

We currently live in a two bedroom apartment but, as with most people, would love to get into a house as soon as possible…mainly because paying rent feels like money going into a deep dark pit of nothing. But what we’ve really started debating lately is the idea of saving for a house over quality of life. We’re certainly not of the mindset that material things make life better…but in a way they do.

Do we save now for a house or buy the night stand so we aren’t using a plastic crate? Do we go out to eat tonight or cook at home? Do we get a fish tank or just do without?

Obviously these are all pretty superficial things. But to some extent they aren’t. All these little things bring some sort of indirect joy to life. Having a level surface to put a lamp and a clock at night, enjoying a fun night out and a tasty meal at a restaurant, and adding a few little swimming creatures to the room all just bring something to the table that getting in a house sooner than later just don’t seem to be able to do.

I have many friends who are of the camp that we should save every penny we can to get a house, a new car, a __________. But I’m a firm believer that expensive things aren’t necessarily what to strive for in the short run…sure it’s a necessity to save money and we will eventually get that house…but what I believe is that, in the long run, life we’ll seem much more enjoyable if I lighten up a bit with my money and chose to live a bit more spontaneous and care free.

There’s obviously no right or wrong opinion here. What are your thoughts?

Have you ever worked with someone who can’t seem to do things on their own, someone who needs their hand held all the time? What about someone who questions everything that crosses their desk? Or maybe, you’ve experience the opposite end of the spectrum; someone who never asks for permission and is always begging for forgiveness? Or the micro-management type, who needs to be involved with everything at all times.

I’ve worked with all these people, and I’ve been them at one time or another. In my mind none of these ways of working is very healthy to a team environment and they’re almost always a roadblock to getting valuable things accomplished. Now, I’m not 100% sure how these behaviors start, but my guess is that it starts with trust.

Or lack thereof.

h3. Traditional Office Culture Sucks Ass

One of the reasons why I went out on my own is that I was sick of dealing with politics. Just about everywhere I’ve worked there has been almost as much “positioning” as there has been working. You may have heard or experienced the terms “empire building”, “roadblocking”, “micro-management”, “mucky-muck”, etc. Those are bad words. Words I hope to never use again.

They all stem from what I see as an overall lack of trust. You’ve got those who don’t trust anyone else to do anything right. You’ve got those who don’t trust themselves to make a decision without stepping on toes. I could go on, but the point is this:

If you’re working in a culture that lacks trust, you can’t do your best work.

You’ve got to work to erase these behaviors and it’s not an easy task.

h3. Define Roles Then Empower

First and foremost I think you’ve got to make sure EVERYONE–from the CEO to the intern–feels empowered to do their job. This starts by making sure they understand what they’re supposed to do. I don’t know how many people I’ve talked to who aren’t sure exactly what their role is. You can imagine that’s a problem. If you don’t know your role, get with your superiors and figure it out. No one needs that stress.

So, you need to make it 100% clear what everyone is expected to be doing. Next, people need to know that it’s ok for them to do that. Makes sense right? Well, again, I’ve been in this situation and know many others who have as well. You know your job, but you feel like you can’t take initiative. Here’s when the empowerment comes in.

If you find that an coworker keeps coming to you with questions or for reassurance you might not be doing enough to make him or her feel empowered. Let them know you trust them. Make sure you thank them (it’s amazing how often this gets forgotten) and that you let them know you appreciate what they’re doing.

On the flip side, you need to tell someone when they’re not performing, or when they’re overstepping. I’ve worked with people who do too much and take responsibility away from others. This creates resentment and reinforces a lack of empowerment. Usually these people think they’re helping, so be gentle. But be firm.

h3. The Perfect Office Culture…

…probably doesn’t exist, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying to provide an environment where everyone feels trusted, empowered and a part of the team. If you’re working in a job that can’t seem to provide that for you, my advice would be to look elsewhere. Sure, nowhere is perfect, but you might find a better fit somewhere else. Or, you could do what I did and go out on your own.

(Not that running your own business is perfect either, but at least I’ve got the ability to address these things head on. I hope that as we grow I don’t lose site of that.)

I don’t have all the answers and wish I could give you an easy “how to” on how to create perfect office culture. What I can tell you is that if you’ve got a problem, talk about it and don’t avoid the hard discussions. Work is a big part of our lives and we all have a right to a job we enjoy and can succeed at.

You don’t, well unless your working on building that ultimate sandcastle or teaching your kid how to throw a baseball. You get your butt out there and soak up some summer sun!

At least that’s my opinion. I try and take advantage of my summers as much as I can. Work and Life should be balanced in my book and in the winter (here in Seattle) there are plenty of days where I have no problems just working, working, working.

If you really must work, maybe doing things like washing your car, or mowing the lawn or some nice relaxing gardening would make sense. But I really think you should play as much as you can.

With that, I’m off — have a good weekend everyone.

At any given moment I’ve got from 5 to 20 posts in some kind of draft form. Usually that form is notes with a title. I keep these around for times when I’m at a creative low and have nothing to talk or write about. This post was one of those that had been lingering in my drafts for a few weeks.

But then I came across this article via Lifehacker and I knew I had to come back to this issue and get this post out to y’all.

It’s all about the work/life balance and how time spent away from work can make you a better worker.

h3. Breaks Are Good?

The WSJ article talks about how we need to take breaks throughout the day. As someone who is very bad at this and who is trying to get better I was interested. I mean I do take the pauses they talk about, but I feel I need to take more breaks. You know, the kind that force you to get up and get away. Walks and such. My back needs it — but that’s another story.

As bad as I am with daily breaks, I’ve always been someone who uses his vacation (and then some, ack!) and find that I need time away from my job to be productive and maintain a high level of creativity. But I know many, many people who don’t take advantage of their vacation and I’m of the mind that they’re not doing themselves, or anyone else, a service by working so much.

In fact, I’d hazard a guess that by not taking a break or getting away from your work, you’d be on a road to dissatisfaction and disengagement. Not a good long-term proposition. In effect you may be making yourself less valuable and actually hurting your resume and reputation by working too much.

h3. Breaks (Sometimes Long Ones) Are A Must

I’d like to illustrate why breaks are important with a true story.

I’ve got a friend who is a workaholic. He works over 60 hours a week and almost never takes a vacation. When he does get away he thinks about work and often has long phone conversations with his home office about things that seem very trivial to anyone who is with him. He constantly talks about work, again mostly trivial subjects, but it’s something he can’t seem to leave behind. It’s “work, work, work” all the time with this guy.

You’d think he likes his job, right? You’d think wrong. He hates his job and recently he’s having all sorts of on-the-job problems. I’ve often told him he should see about looking elsewhere but he’s so caught up in it all it’s very hard for him to separate his life from his work anymore. It’s scares him to think of leaving his job and now that his life is his job, he doesn’t know what to do but keep going. In the meantime he’s losing touch with his friends and family and missing out on all sorts of fun. It’s really, really sad.

(You might see how some jobs would be the kind to take over your life and how it might be worth it. I’m sure there are many out there. His job isn’t one of those. Trust me on this one.)

The last time I saw him he had gone through a kind of epiphany where he realized he needed to move on (although he’s not done so yet) and could look back somewhat objectively at how he got to this point. In talking with him we came to the realization that much of what led to his current situation was the simple fact that he didn’t take any time off, or separate in any way his life from his work. He liked his job so much at the beginning he wanted to spend time there and make it great. Nothing wrong with that but this led to working more and more hours, which led to being expected to work more hours. Then to cutting vacations short to get back to work. Then to being expected to cut his vacations short. Etc.

Since no one made him take time off he never did. Now when he asks for time off he feels a bit guilty. He’s so used to being there that he can’t get away even though he knows he needs to. As well, people expect him to be there all the time and expect him to be working long hours. Any deviation from this is strange to everyone involved.

In essence what he was doing was devaluing himself through a series of compromises he made with himself and to his employers. He began to feel like he had to work all the time as he had not only conditioned himself to this, he’d conditioned his coworkers and bosses as well.

I know all to many people who are in a similar boat and don’t need to be.

There is a reason why some companies make you take breaks and use your vacation. Too much work and no play can make you dull, sure, but it can also ruin your life. I love to work and I try in inject play into my work as I am able. Even then I don’t feel that’s enough. It’s about maintaining a balance and to do that you need time off.

Next time you’re thinking about cutting a vacation short or simply letting your vacation days go unused remember that you’ve got those days for a reason. Then think about your friends and family. Hell, think about your coworkers! Mightn’t they be sick of your ugly mug? Take time off. Then come back and work hard.

I know the phrase “work hard, play hard” is kind of cheesy but it’s also kind of true. The most productive, respected and valuable people I know all know when to take a break and relax.

h3. A Final Note

I want to point out that it’s a fine line to walk–this balance between work and life. If you find yourself either working too much or working too little it’s probably a good idea to take a step back and do a re-evaluation your job. Also, do a general check of your attitude towards your work. Are you excited about it? Does it make you feel good? Has it changed?

I’ve seen in my own work how something can start great and turn sour. Working too much, or too little, and not being happy about it can be a good indicator that you might not be in a good spot.

Sometimes a change can be good and sometimes you just need to take a break to see things as they are.

I was always envious of those folks who could just get up in front of people and “own it”, you know? The people who are totally comfortable in front of crowds? Those who always seem to speak with confidence and always know what they are talking about? I mean, I bet they never feel like they don’t know what they’re doing, right?

Wrong.

h3. Everyone Has Moments Of Uncertainty

Even some of the most successful and influential people in the world have had times when they felt like a sham. I’ve talked to quite a few people who I look up to and respect who’ve told me they’ve had days when they’ve felt like they were going to be “outted” for not knowing what they were talking about.

And here I was thinking it was just me!

Recently I was talking about this “phenomenon” with a colleague and I admitted to having this feeling quite often. He was shocked, “Not you?! Dude, you’re golden! But I totally feel that way too. All the time.” Funny thing is, I’d have never expected it out of him either.

Well, I thought this was all very interesting and asked around. I did some research. Seems like almost everyone struggles with this at some point or other. Just knowing that makes me feel much better and I think it’ll help me cope with those times I’m up speaking or giving a presentation and I feel like an impostor. I’m not alone, and neither are you!

How do you deal with your own lack of confidence in yourself? I’ve got all sorts of things I do. I mean, at my core I’m a pretty shy and modest person. It’s only been through forcing myself to do things and put myself out there have I developed any degree of self-confidence.

h3. What I Do

* Just Do It. Whenever I feel shy or unsure of myself, I pretty much force myself to just get on with it. Usually after a brief panic moment I’m usually fine. I got over my fear of flying the same way. The more you do something, the more you’ll feel comfortable with it and the more confident you’ll be.
* I recall past successes. For example, when I get up to speak in front of a crowd, I recall the last time I did it and remember that it went just fine.
* Positive thinking. I try to visualize success when I’m feeling less than confident as well I maintain a positive train of thought.
* Remind myself that what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. I tell myself that if I screw up I can look back, probably laugh my ass off, and realize I learned something in the process.
* Take deep breaths. This has a calming effect on me.
* Prepare. I usually know what’s going to make me nervous or self-conscious. I find that the more prepared I am, the easier it is to get past.
* Go through my “kudos” file. I keep e-mails from people who’ve encouraged me or offered positive feedback. I read these when I’m feeling like I don’t know what the hell I’m doing or when I just need some validation.
* Focus on one thing and take it slow. It’s easy to let my mind wander in panic mode, and rushed thinking doesn’t help anything. Forcing myself to concentrate and keep my focus can help restore confidence.
* Listen, think, then speak. The times when I get into the most trouble usual stem from not listening. You can lose yourself and get into a place where you really don’t feel like you know what’s going on if you don’t listen well.
* Remember that I’m not the only one who feels this way. People who I really look up to have the same thing from time to time. This makes me feel much better.

I chuckled and replied, “Yeeeah. What of it?”

She went back to her book, good-naturedly mumbling something about “what a geek” and I went back to my business, content and happy. I got to thinking about this interaction a day or so later and that train of thought took me all over the place and dropped me off right here.

I thought quite a bit about technology and the role it plays in our day-to-day lives. I thought about the social aspect of technology. I thought about how we try to humanize technology and how badly that fails. I thought about how much easier technology makes my life and how, when it’s working, technology allows me to meet people I’d never had had the chance to meet, and experience things I’d never had been able to experience and get much more done than I’d be able to do on my own.

h3. When it’s not working

Here at To-Done I’ve spoken about technological tools, mainly software, that are designed to help us manage our time, be more productive and hopefully have more time to spend at the beach, among other things. One tool I use on a daily basis is Basecamp, a project management tool from 37signals. I love this tool. Why? Because it’s the first project management tool that I’ve ever used that has actually cut down on the amount of work I had to do managing projects.

Yes, what that means is that every PM tool I tried before Basecamp actually added to my overall workload. Now, this wouldn’t be a problem if there were other benefits but to be quite honest, pretty much all these other tools did was make me work harder.

What did 37signals do that made Basecamp so much more useful? They took what I call a “peoplecentric” approach to the design and development of their software. They really tried to understand the underlying problems people were having managing projects and build something that addressed those problems. Seems pretty simple right? Well, it’s obviously harder than it seems because so many technologies fail to work for people.

h3. When the problem is the people

Let’s take a look at content management systems (CMS). How many of you have used a CMS that wasn’t a pain in the ass? Put your hand in the air. If your hand is up my guess is you’re either lying, you have an amazing thick skin when it comes to technology or you are a glutton for punishment.

(If not, please let me know what CMS you’re on!)

I’ve seen a few (mainly lightweight tools) that can actually, after a bit of a learning curve, make managing content easier, but I’ve yet to see one that I feel lives up to it’s promise. One of the biggest myths about CMS is that the technology is some kind of content silver bullet. The problem here is the people. By it’s very nature a CMS needs people to work with it. No technology is going to allow content to manage itself.

In the case of CMS, while most the software does suck, people are needed to ensure it’s working at its best.

h3. When we try to make computers human

Have you ever “spoken” to a computer over the phone? You know, one of those automated systems that tries to sound like a person and forces you to talk to it as you would another person? I hate those. I mean, it’s amazing technology and the voice recognition is pretty damn good, but I feel so strange talking to a computer like that. I’d much rather push buttons.

Then there is the bank machine that uses “friendly” prompts. It’s kind of funny, and well intentioned, but it throws me off every time when I read, “How can I help you today?” instead of “Please choose..” or whatever.

I feel that trying to make technology more human is misguided in many ways. Use it to connect humans, to help humans, but I’m fine with keeping technology technology.

h3. When it’s working

The underlying theme of my thoughts, the rails upon which this train rode, is my fundamental belief that technology should work for me, not the other way around. As soon as I find myself working to hard for technology, I’ve got a problem. If technology frustrates me, or makes me mad, I’ve got a problem.

As much time as I spend with technology, you can imagine that I’ve got a few problems. I’m lucky enough to be one of those people who is able, in some small way, to do something about those problems. It’s one of the things that keeps me passionate about what I do and one of the things that keeps me writing here and elsewhere.

As a Web professional (I’m an Information Architect by day, Web designer, developer, writer and publisher by night) I’ve spent many years trying to get technology to work for me. In most cases my success has been marginal. I spend most of my day head down in front of a screen working.

Now, while I’ve got a passion for my work, and I enjoy it quite a bit, I can’t say there is nothing I’d rather do. I’d rather not work at all, thats for sure. A sunny beach with a bottle of Pacifico, a good book and some nice music in the background–I’ll take that any day. But I’ve got to work, and with the help of technology I’m able to have more sunny days at the beach. Which is kind of the point really.

Like the motto of this site says, I work to live.

When the technology is working for me, I get more days at the beach. When it’s not I’m often at home trying to sort it out. This is the price we sometimes have to pay for the freedom technology affords us. But it’s getting better and often we’ve got a choice.

h3. Geek to Live

The other day I got an e-mail from a reader who wanted to know how I use Backpack (another productivity tool from 37Signals). She had tried it out and spent quite a bit of time with it and just didn’t get what she was supposed to do with it. She wanted me to tell her how I used it so she could learn from my experience and perhaps put it to good use as well.

Well, I know exactly how she feels. It’s quite often that when a new tool or technology comes around I begin to feel this strange pressure, from where it comes I’ve got no clue, to jump on that technology, figure it out, use it and make my life “better.” I hate that feeling.

I explained to her how I use Backpack and that for me it’s working very well. Making my life a tad easier and all that. What I also told her was that I thought if it wasn’t working for her that she might consider simply not using it.

There is no reason to use a technology that doesn’t help you in any way. Not every solution is going to fit every problem. Some technologies are just plain not easy, or fun, to use. Unless in the rare case you have to use a technology, you might try simply letting go. A technology that frequently upsets you, frustrates you or makes you mad is a technology you’re probably better off without.

I know for many of you the geek in you makes that hard, but as the title of this post implies–it’s got to be better geeking to live, than living to geek.

Makes you wonder if this “enhanced” quality of life is actually better…rather than simply “enhanced.”

This is one of the very reasons I’m working at trying to simplify and organize my own life. I love my work. I’ve got a passion for it, and because of that I’m always thinking, learning, reading, striving to get things accomplished. This creates stress and I’m learning that because I work so much, and try so hard, that I may actually be doing the opposite of what will make me the most happy and help me get the most out of my life.

I’ve taken to reminding myself that everything doesn’t need to be done yesterday and that it’s ok to take things one-at-a-time. As a self-proclaimed master multi-tasker, this is a bit hard to swallow, but I’m working on it. I think the goal of methodologies like GTD should be to free up your time, to help you relax and to get the most (not necessarily more) out of your time and life.

If you’re “Getting Things Done” just to add a bunch more things to do, it kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?

h3. Drawing A Fuzzy Grey Line

Another thing David talks about in GTD is the blurry line between work and life. In fact he goes as far to say that there is no real line there, but that we’ve got a problem separating “work” work (as in what you get paid to do) from work (as in tasks to get things done, regardless of their nature). I know this is amazingly hard for me, and has been for awhile now. Pretty much ever since I began writing. You see, I love to write and while it is work, in a way it doesn’t always feel like “work” work.

Meaning it’s hard for me to know when to stop or put something on hold.

It’s almost like I’m addicted to it. I enjoy it quite a bit, and sometimes I just can’t stop…but I’m coming to realize that the more I do doesn’t really mean the better it’s going to be. In fact, I think my best writing is when I’ve taken some time off. Quite often I write things with all sorts of other thoughts rolling around my head, and that leads to somewhat unfocused writing. I used to just deal with it and move on. Now if I feel unfocused, and it’s something important I want to write about, I simply stop and come back to it when I’ve got more time and a clearer mind.

That line between “work” and work will always be grey and fuzzy to me, but I’m learning how to step away from it. My hope is by trying less, and taking time to focus more, my writing will be clearer and my stress level will go down.

h3. The Moral

Sometimes the best way to get something good done is to not do anything at all.